It takes courage (Part 1 - tribe)

By Dr. Kate Beyrer

We were meant to be part of a tribe. We don’t need to be anthropologists to know that. We all feel it, don’t we? Deep in our bones. We are a community-driven species, and our tribe extends well beyond the culturally created construct of the nuclear family – our tribes include our friends, colleagues and wider familial networks. Today it even includes our virtual allies – people we may never meet face to face, but who we know intimately through online connections.

For women in particular, tribe is essential. Evolutionarily speaking, women existed in tribes to give birth, to care for their offspring and the offspring of others, and as we grew older, to mid-wife and mentor. We were the life givers and the care givers, creating and then overseeing the progeny.

As elder members of the tribe, we became its historians. The ones who remember who is allergic to what foods, or which children need special assistance. We became the adjudicator of resources. Since our caloric needs decrease in the middle of life, there is more for others, which brings us great joy. Women experience a hormonal surge when we feed our children and loved ones. In our reproductive years, we get an actual gut punch of pleasure when we watch them eat or when we braid their hair. And when that pleasure (naturally) wanes, other pleasures take its place.

Think of this tribal woman. This creator of life. This standard bearer for her tribe’s experience. This guardian. Leader. Guide. That woman is you.