Bookshelf: Midlife perspectives
Ada Calhoun wrote this oh-so-aptly named book when she started to experience the triple threat of midlife women in Generation X (born between 1965 and 1980): poor sleep, overwhelm and a general feeling of “is this it?” She digs deep into the research and the myths about this generation, one that she writes is the first “raised from birth hearing the tired cliché “having it all” – then discovering as adults it is very hard to have even some of it.
Calhoun interviewed 200 women in the U.S. from a wide range of economic, racial and religious backgrounds: single, married, childless, gay and straight. She notes that she specifically didn’t focus on the very poor, as unfortunately the burdens they are under in this country are too big for the scope of her book. She also skipped the very rich, choosing to focus on women in the middle class who “grew up with reasonable expectations of opportunity and success.” Despite these omissions, she gives readers a wide perspective on this segment of Gen X’s version of midlife trials and opportunities.
If you’re a Gen X’er – or on the edges of this generation – you will likely recognize yourself in the pages. And, since women of this generation aren’t accustomed to talking about midlife and menopause issues, perhaps reading the experiences of the women in this book will leave you feeling like you just had one of those long, honest chats with a best friend about your deepest fears and long-held desires.
Quote we love:
“If the first piece of a solution is getting support and the second is reframing our life to remove unrealistic expectations, the third might be…waiting. One day, midlife will end. Kids will grow up; relationships will evolve. Women in their fifties and sixties tell me that after menopause they felt so much better–less nervous, more confident, no longer afraid of looking stupid.”